It is life's small moments that create lasting memories. As the official blog of "Crowdsourcing A Good Life", the goal of this blog is to enable a life-milieu conducive to creating and commemorating these small moments.
ROL is an abbreviation for Return on Life. Return on Life is all about making small incremental changes that yield large returns on life enjoyment. This week's ROL is about respecting the privacy of others as well as your own privacy.
Sharing Has It's Limitations.
I'm still in the euphoria phase with my new MyTouch 4G. My new smartphone may not be a big deal to some but my last 3 phones were WindowsMobile (2 were provided by work) and frankly, WinMo sucks. I loaded CardioTrainer to track my morning walks. I like CardioTrainer, it's certainly functional enough. The only thing I don't like is at the end of each workout it asks me if I want to share my results on Facebook or Twitter. I understand one of the way these free apps get paid is via publicity but share my workout results? No! Then I wondered if the Kama Sutra app asks the same question?
It's None Of Your Damn Business.
Last week, Danny Brown gave Klout an earful about it's jump through hoops opt out policy. In a nutshell, Danny's point is that it is fundamentally wrong to have to instruct someone they do not have blanket permission (or in Klout's case any permission) to access your various social media accounts. Instead, the standard should be: assume permission to access account and score social media activity is denied unless expressly permitted. Insert standing ovation here.
You Don't Need To Know And I Didn't Ask.
These are trying times for those in favor of privacy. The U.S. government imposition of it's "fear of fear" policy is beyond the scope of this post. I'll talk about us, not the U.S. Given the immediacy of contact available via the internet, the walls of common sense and good taste are so thin as to be transparent. Let me offer a few simple examples to serve as guidelines for my version of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell".
source: morgueFile.com
Do not ask a pregnant stranger if you can rub her belly. The answer is "No". Yes, I speak for everyone.
Do not offer in a public forum the color of your bodily fluids after a wrestling match with Jose Cuervo.
I don't need to know the minute details of your root canal. Root canal is sufficient.
Please don't share how much you made on your last deal. Shame on me if I ask.
Don't ask anyone why they do not have offspring. If you don't already know, you don't need to know.
I could go on ad nauseam, but that brings the conversation back to bodily fluids (see above). In summary, before speaking or hitting the send button, ask: "Why do I need to know?" or "Does anyone else need to know?". Everyone in your circle will be happier and the world will be just a little better.
This post comes from a presentation I gave to the Non-Working Networkers Group at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Rockford, IL in January, 2011. This post also serves as both a love note and a thank you note to the aforementioned Non-Working Networkers and the church Deacons. The multi-tiered support they provide to those of all (or no) faiths is truly God's work.
Why post this today? Margie Clayman wrote a great guest post Monday on Danny Brown's blog. In the comments, Margie threw down on me. It was a kind, respectful throwdown, but a throwdown none the less. Back at ya, Margie.
Wow, a preamble and an introduction. I'm awfully self-important today. Without further adieu, Ladies and Gentleman, networking by THE BEATLES!
What is the song about?
Listen to the words. It's two (unemployed) people networking.
Asked a girl what she wanted to be.
It's not hard to start. Introduce yourself and ask someone a question.
She said "Listen baby, can't you see? I'm gonna be famous, a star of the screen, but you can do something in between."
Early in the exchange offer help to the other if possible. Successful networking is based on what you give to the system, not on what you plan to get out of the system. The more value you can offer (the sooner the better) the more likely you are to receive value in return.
Baby you can drive my car. Yes, I'm gonna be a star. Baby you can drive my car, and maybe I love you.
When talking about what you do or what you're looking to do, specifics are vital. None of the nebulous "I want to put my people skills to use, I'm a great organizer, blah, blah, blah." People can't help when you want to do anything under the sun. The girl knows exactly what she wants. It's also obvious the girl knows how to network. She offers a very specific suggestion for her counterpart.
I told a girl that my prospects were good.
Obviously the speaker of the first part is a moron. A contact offers help on the 1st meeting and gets turned down out of hand.
She said "Listen baby it's understood. Workin' for peanuts is all very fine but I can show you a better time."
The girl asks the idiot, "Are you really going to turn down my offer, to my face, without at least taking some time to think it over? " Then, instead of turning negative with the moron meme, she remains positive. "Trust me, whatever you think you may have in front of you, I'm making a concrete offer."
I told that girl I could start right away.
The light goes on. Offer accepted.
She said "Listen baby I got something to say. I got no car and it's breaking my heart, but I found a driver and that's a start."
Opportunity rarely presents itself when we are looking for an opportunity. Opportunity arrives when least expected. Usually we are unprepared for opportunity. Unfortunately opportunity doesn't hang around until everything is in line to take advantage of the opportunity. The would be starlet required a driver. Her counterpart needed a position. A deal was struck, even lacking the requisite car.
"I'd like to say thank you on behalf of the group and ourselves, and I hope we passed the audition".
Aside from telling you what you already know about networking, what is the takeaway from today's post?
The takeaway isn't about my smartest kid in class breakdown of "Drive My Car", even though I had a great time with the presentation.
The takeaway isn't about the wonders of social media, even though I met Margie Clayman yesterday via a blogpost and here I am today posting in response to her.
The takeaway isn't about the great work being done by Westminster Presbyterian Church, because that is for another day.
As adults, we should have identified our strengths and weaknesses by now. We know things we do well and areas where we perpetually under achieve. There are no new messages left to hear, it's merely the manner in which the messages we already know are presented to us. The takeaway is there are new presentations of known messages all around us. Inspirational speakers aren't if they say the same thing the same way every time, yet the message at the end doesn't vary. By finding known messages repackaged, we recommit to the path of success with new energy. Hopefully, next time "Drive My Car" comes on the radio, you'll remember my thoughts on networking rules of engagement.
What do you think? Do you agree or disagree with my premise? Do you have an instance of finding an old message in a new place?
