ROL: In A Moment.

ROL(Return on Life) is the "help improve your life" counterpart of ROI (Return on Investment). Simply stated, ROL suggests incremental changes or activities that can produce major returns toward a better quality of life (QOL). This week's ROL is about what could happen in a moment.

About a week before Passover, I saw something different as a Facebook Post from my friend, Marjorie. The post began "Hi, Dan here and it's going to be me for a while. Marjorie fell down a flight of stairs, fractured her skull and sustained a traumatic brain injury." Dan has been updating Marjorie's stream regularly and results have been mixed. Marjorie is apparently getting better but progress is slow and inconsistent. It's going to be a long road for the family.

Until the fall, it had been a pretty good year for Dan, Marjorie and their daughter Emmy. They moved back to their beloved, adopted hometown in the Midwest after a brief stay on the West Coast. Marjorie had landed a job and was looking forward to gainful employment. Luckily(?) Dan and Marjorie had friends that could take charge of Emmy until grandparents could get into town. I can chart out in my mind what I would do if my wife was severely injured, but I really have no idea how I would move forward if this happened in my family.

Next time you're spitting mad because you didn't get your first choice when the family orders take out, think about my friend Marjorie and her family. I'll bet the dim sum will taste just as good as the egg roll.

Please keep Marjorie, Dan, Emmy and their extended family in your thoughts and prayers.

What about you? Any stories about perspective or reality checks you would care to share?

ROL: It's Great to Have Excellent Relatives but Worthless to Have Relative Excellence.

ROL (Return On Life) is a soft measurement for lifestyle comparable to the hard marketing measurement, ROI (Return on Investment). ROL addresses small or simple life changes that can have greatly improve quality of life, in my opinion. Since it's my blog, my opinion matters a great deal.

"So, how did you do today?" "Relatively well."  

I give this answer way too often.  Relatively well means I didn't do well, but I'm not going to bore you with excuses. Genesis 6:9 states that Noah (boatbuilder, 1st mobile zookeeper) was righteous for his generations. In relative terms, Noah was a white collar crook during a time rampant with violence. Noah wasn't righteous; merely not as bad as everyone else. Consider these examples. When someone asks the obstetrician about the delivery, is "relatively well" a good answer? Did the doctor deliver 80% of the baby? What about the bombardier? "I did relatively well". Was the perimeter of the munitions dump destroyed with only half the neighboring population murdered? Relatively well is objectively poor.

It's time to come up with a different answer. "I did my best" is much better than doing "relatively well". "I gave my best effort" is not as good as "I did my best" but still so much better than "relatively well". How do these alternate responses differ from "relatively well"?

The results are in fact the same. The frame of reference is the polar opposite. "Relatively well" is I sucked less than others. "I did my best/gave my best effort" is I did the best I could. Perhaps the results are insufficient, but I will do better tomorrow.  "Relatively well" accepts and perhaps extols mediocrity.  "Best/best effort" indicates the pursuit of excellence.

When it's time for your review does your supervisor say "He's better than an empty chair" or "She never quits"? At contract time does your client say "I don't have the time or energy to find another company" or "They keep going until I get exactly what I need"? For your eulogy do your kids say "I was better off than an orphan" or "Mom and Dad always found a way to make time for me"?

Life is not graded on a curve. Stop comparing your results and efforts to the world of the mediocre.  Do your best, no excuses.

ROL: The Truth

ROL is an abbreviation of the words Return on Life. ROL is the "live a fuller life" counterpart of the financial measure ROI. The concept of ROL is to make small, simple, incremental life changes that have to potential to pay off big time. This week's ROL is about telling the truth.
When it comes to the people you love, telling the truth is not an option. With those you love, the truth is the ONLY option. For those that think telling the truth may not always be simple. In response, let's take a look at a current news story:  Sen. John Ensign resigns his seat in mid-April before the results of a Senate ethics committee investigation were released.

BACKGROUND

Sen. Ensign (a married man) had an affair with Cynthia Hampton. Ms. Hampton worked for Senator Ensign's campaign and her husband was a staff member for Senator Ensign. The Hampton family was dependent solely on Senator Ensign for their livelihood. During the affair, Sen. Ensign listed Ms. Hampton as Aunt Judy on his cell phone. Sen. Ensign also set up email to connect with Ms. Hampton, as opposed to using his Senate account. Ms. Hampton wanted to end the affair. Senator Ensign did not want to end the affair. Ms. Hampton did not want her family to lose it's only source of income, (which included housing and private school tuition), therefore she continued the affair. Given his position as her de facto employer, it could be concluded that the coercive nature of the relationship constitutes sexual harassment in the workplace. Were this the only law broken it would be a very sad story. The harassment is only the tip of the iceberg.

Both Mr. Hampton and Mrs. Ensign learned of the affair.  Mr. Hampton quit his position on Ensign's staff and Mrs. Ensign had Cynthia Hampton fired. Mr. Hampton wanted significant restitution(it is illegal to pay severance to campaign staff). Sen. Tom Coburn became involved in smoothing things over for Sen. Ensign. Sen. Ensign's stepfather and mother paid $96,000 to Ms. Hampton. Mr. Hampton received a job with a lobbying firm(it is illegal for a former staffer to lobby their employer for a year).

THE SAGA CONTINUES

Sen. Ensign denied the payments from his parents were severance and had his parents sign two prepared affidavits that stated the $96,000 was one of many gifts given to the Hamptons. Sen. Ensign had documents about the affair destroyed. Sen. Coburn stated that his conversations with Sen. Ensign were privileged based on Sen. Coburn being a licensed physician and a church deacon. Sen. Ensign steered clients to Mr. Hampton.
Mr. Hampton lobbied Sen. Ensign's office within the prohibited time period.

THE AFTERMATH

Mr. Hampton is indicted for violating federal statute for lobbying a former employer during the disallowed time frame. Cynthia Hampton has filed for divorce and bankruptcy. The Senate Ethics Committee report is released. The results have been forwarded to the US Dept. of Justice for possible criminal prosecution. It is possible that Sen. Ensign's parents and Senator Coburn will be investigated for violating federal law.

THE MORAL

The moral is not about extra marital affairs. They happen and everyone has their own opinion about affairs. The moral neither indicts nor exonerates Sen. Ensign or Ms. Hampton for their choice of extracurricular activity. The moral goes back to telling the truth.

I can't imagine it's easy or fun to tell your spouse you are having sex with someoone else. I expect in most cases it would be an uncomfortable and messy scene. The truth might even lead to divorce, but look at Senator Ensign. The cover up of the lie has also led to divorce: and bankruptcy, ethics investigations, indictments, possibly prison and the end of a career in public service. 

The moral is the truth might not be simple, convenient or fun. 

Still, compared to any other option, the truth is about as simple as it gets.

  

Speaking of simple things with great returns, check out "It Starts With Us". Each week you get a 15 minute mission via email. When you're done, you share your thoughts with others in the group's forum. This week's mission is microvolunteering via Sparked.com. I helped a non-prof with their mission statement. Adding to "A Life Well Lived", 15 minutes a week. It can't get any simpler.