Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: Changes

This Trust 30 prompt is from Carlos Miceli. The challenge is to take whatever isn't working (job, relationships, friends, acquaintances, appliances) in my life and assume the problem is me. What is my approach and what changes would I make to position my life where I want my life.

It's My Fault. Just Ask My Wife.
The fact is whatever isn't working in my life is indeed my fault. My job, friends, wife, kids, relatives, friends, etc. are going to act as they act and do as they wish. I may have some input with the people in my life, I certainly have little control. I am however, in charge of my reaction. Therefore if some component(s) in my life is/are not working, it's my fault.
Nice Theory. How Does It Work?
In practice, the "I'm in charge of my reaction" is truly as simple as it is in theory. For those you love, love and accept them for who they are.  Don't let short term disappointment with someone you love cloud the fact that this person is indeed someone you love. If it hurts too much to be around someone you love, don't be around that person. 
What About Non-Relatives?
Don't confuse a friend with a) an acquaintance, b) a neighbor, c) a co-worker, d) someone you know or e) someone you know well. A friend is someone you love, see the paragraph above. The rest of these relationships are great to have if there is (mutual) benefit. If you seem to always be coming up short, at the least minimize encounters or better yet, ban the person from your life. Remember, if you spend an hour each day railing about the moronic behavior of the guy next door, who's the real moron?
The Boss.
What if your employer/supervisor/premier client is an unmitigated, self-centered, self-impressed jerk? (Not that I have ever personally worked for someone with these lack of  qualities.) Replay: I may have some input with the (work based) people in my life, I certainly have little control. I am however, in charge of my reaction.  It is a personal decision to work with and react to those that make you miserable. Once you deem the transaction to be in-total negative, why should you continue to transact?

Why did I address my response to you when the challenge was for me? I  wasn't speaking to you, I was talking to me. I invited you to listen to my conversation.

This, however is for you. What changes have you made when something wasn't working? Was the onus on you or was it really what was happening to you?

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