Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: Changes

This Trust 30 prompt is from Carlos Miceli. The challenge is to take whatever isn't working (job, relationships, friends, acquaintances, appliances) in my life and assume the problem is me. What is my approach and what changes would I make to position my life where I want my life.

It's My Fault. Just Ask My Wife.

The fact is whatever isn't working in my life is indeed my fault. My job, friends, wife, kids, relatives, friends, etc. are going to act as they act and do as they wish. I may have some input with the people in my life, I certainly have little control. I am however, in charge of my reaction. Therefore if some component(s) in my life is/are not working, it's my fault.

Nice Theory. How Does It Work?

In practice, the "I'm in charge of my reaction" is truly as simple as it is in theory. For those you love, love and accept them for who they are.  Don't let short term disappointment with someone you love cloud the fact that this person is indeed someone you love. If it hurts too much to be around someone you love, don't be around that person. 

What About Non-Relatives?

Don't confuse a friend with a) an acquaintance, b) a neighbor, c) a co-worker, d) someone you know or e) someone you know well. A friend is someone you love, see the paragraph above. The rest of these relationships are great to have if there is (mutual) benefit. If you seem to always be coming up short, at the least minimize encounters or better yet, ban the person from your life. Remember, if you spend an hour each day railing about the moronic behavior of the guy next door, who's the real moron?

The Boss.

What if your employer/supervisor/premier client is an unmitigated, self-centered, self-impressed jerk? (Not that I have ever personally worked for someone with these lack of  qualities.) Replay: I may have some input with the (work based) people in my life, I certainly have little control. I am however, in charge of my reaction.  It is a personal decision to work with and react to those that make you miserable. Once you deem the transaction to be in-total negative, why should you continue to transact?

Why did I address my response to you when the challenge was for me? I  wasn't speaking to you, I was talking to me. I invited you to listen to my conversation.

This, however is for you. What changes have you made when something wasn't working? Was the onus on you or was it really what was happening to you?

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: Self Portrait.

This Trust 30 prompt is from Matthew Stillman. The challenge is to: a) intentionally look less than my best according to societal norms b) capture the "look" in a photo and c) blog about it.  And away we go.

I Am Not A Morning Person.

I get up at 5:20 AM weekdays. Why? Because my 2nd grade daughter, Susy* has to catch her school bus at 6:45 AM. She gets up at 5:40 AM. I need to be up and moving before Susy, otherwise I spend all morning catching up. My son, Mario** doesn't need to get up until 7:30 AM, so after I put Susie on the bus, I go for a 35 minute walk.

Wednesday, Sept. 7, 2011
6:33 AM

Warts And All.

Yup, that's me via my MyTouch 4G. No shave and that's the t-shirt I slept in. I probably haven't brushed my teeth, either. Hopefully my Andy Warhol 15 are not about to happen.

Comfortable In My Own Skin.

When I leave the house, I try and look presentable. T-shirts and gym shoes occasionally, torn jeans almost never.  If I'm specifically going to meet someone or network, I'll dress nicer. Shaving is a must and if I have enough notice I'll get a haircut (insert own joke here).

What's The Point?

I've never been particularly concerned with fitting in and I don't care if people don't care for my choices. Still, since the rest of the world is in the "You don't get a second chance to make a first impression"club I have to act accordingly. I do live in this world. Besides, I do feel a bit sharper when I dress with care. Sometimes that little extra edge is all it takes to carry the day.

How do you see yourself? How do you display your self image? Do you make a point to dress up, dress down or just put on whatever is handy?

*not her real name, named in honor of Susy Johnson, Jeremy's cutting edgy little sister on Phineas and Ferb.
**not his real name. My son's an Aspie and one of his areas of expertise are all things Mario, hence the name.

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: Hey, 10 Years From Now Folks Are Still Texting.

This Trust 30 prompt is from Tia Singh. Her inspiration is this quote:

Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Her challenge is to imagine a text to the today me from the 10 year in the future me. In addition to the content, I am to consider the transformative effect the guidance from the future has on my current day to day existence. Imagine the scene, me, tomorrow morning on my daily walk:

source: morgueFile.com

Hey, what's this? I got a text from... me. That's odd. When was the text sent? 10 years from today? I gotta download that app. What's the message? 

Success lies not in the brilliance of the plan but rather in steadfast determination to the plan's execution. I said steadfast, not stubborn. 

Huh? What's that supposed to mean? Oh, I get it. 

• Stop screwing around with plans on paper. Write a plan and work on getting it done, each and every day. 
• Steadfast, not stubborn. So that must mean to carry accumulated knowledge with me each day. The plan was written in ink (well the 21st Century version of ink, a laptop), not stone.

So success is based upon:

1. consistent execution of a well conceived but not necessarily brilliant plan combined with 
2. the acumen to make changes when necessary.

Wow. Brief, simple and common sense. I didn't know it's so easy to be a success. I should text me a thank you. What? "your text cannot be sent". I'll just mark my calendar to thank me 10 years from today. I do have an app for that.

What are your guidelines for success? What would your next decade self guide you to do today?

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: Alive-est, With My Kids.

This Trust 30 prompt is from Sam Davidson. The charge is to recall a recent time when I felt most alive. Record the scene, feelings, even the smells. That recollection recorded can serve as motivator whenever I hit the wall.

Summertime and the Livin' is???

This summer had all the requisite protocol for disaster. The kids weren't going to camp, my wife rejoined the workforce (2nd shift, no less) and July was hotter than a pizza oven. My wife had always originated kids activities, but now it was my turn. I wasn't worried about taking care of my kids, but keeping them occupied and engaged well... I was a bit concerned.  Then voila, the obvious smacked me in the face and a plan was hatched.

It's Fun to Play at the YMCA.

We  were lucky enough to be gifted a summer membership to the local YMCA. In the middle of the heat wave I checked the YMCA pool schedule and found that Tuesday and Thursday evenings were conducive for a family swim. In order to beat the heat and help the kids burn some energy, I decided we would go the next night, Thursday.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part.

Thursday was a day full of excitement. The kids wanted to get ready for the pool at lunchtime, even though we weren't going until after dinner. I set 4 PM as the get ready time to avoid them waking up the next pool day and going from pajamas to swimsuits. The picture of my daughter coming to dinner in her pink cover up, pink swim goggles and purple backpack will stay with me forever. And that was merely a beginning.

Jump in, the Water's Fine.

I had some concerns, especially about taking them into water without my wife's help. The kids are 51/2 years apart and both are blessed with ADHD. Additionally my son has Asperger's Syndrome. Turns out, I had nothing to worry about. Like most kids, my kids love the water. This wasn't always the case with my son but this summer was different. We all played catch. My son and I watched my daughter go down the waterslide repeatedly.  My son found a rubber duck which I proceeded to put on a duck shaped hard foam sponge creating a rubber duck on a duck raft. (This became our 1st thing in the pool ritual).  My daughter even made up a game: "Floatie in the Middle". Instead of "Monkey in the Middle" the one in the middle held up a swim noodle in a semi circle and the ball had to pass thru the noodle on the way to the other player. These Y trips were among the best parts of summer. Whenever I smell chlorine, these swim nights will always come to mind. I consider this event(s) an example of how my family and I can rise to an occasion simply by getting with the program. I put aside my concerns to get things done. The results were better than I could have imagined.

What about you? Any examples of how you forged ahead and felt great?

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: I Won't Be Who I Don't Want To Be.

Hi Trust 30. It's about time I managed to get reacquainted with you. Trust 30, you've definitely helped me find my confidence and my voice. I must say, you look better than ever.

This Trust 30 prompt comes from Harley Schreiber. The challenge is to consider all that I don't want to be five years from now and produce a plan that will keep me from being someone I wouldn't befriend. This prompt should be easy, I've met and worked for a number of people that are poster children for someone I don't want to be when I grow up.

Not Gonna Be in Five Years.

I don't want to be someone petty and mean in spirit. I don't want to use money or material possessions as a way of keeping score. I don't want to be someone that looks back on missed opportunity (we all have some missed opportunities along the way) and start sentences with "If I had only..." Finally and most importantly I will refuse to dwell on (perceived?) insults and screw jobs and use that anger as a force to determine my future. 

Easy In Theory

What is an absolute sure fire way to avoid being the miscreant described above? One word: Perspective. I must make a consistent choice to live in the here and now. The harsh words in an argument with a loved one are to be blown away in a bubble while the underlying cause becomes a discussion topic. Understand people for who they are. Have the common sense to not play Charlie Brown while trying to kick Lucy's football. Further, when the desire for revenge arises, visualize the success of Wile E. Coyote in his endeavors with the Roadrunner. Finally I must remember that material objects and money are just a means to an end, the end being a high quality life.

I Named This Blog.

In summary, all I need to do to avoid being someone I dislike is to remember the title of this blog. Do I want the gathering at the end of my life to be would have, could have, should have? Do I want my kids to remember a list of "if only"? No. I want my funeral to be stories that evoke both laughter and tears. Perspective is the path of the happy.

How do you keep your eyes on the prize? Who would you not want to be and how do you plan to avoid becoming that person?

Marching Through Wet Concrete. (Part 1)

The last week of July was amazing for productivity. I posted M-F that week and felt very good about each post. Since then it feels as though each step is being taken carrying a 150 pound backpack. I'm not sure why.

Lack of posts for for the 1st week of August were not for lack of ideas. I had something all sketched out to start the week. That supposed to be Monday post appeared as Thursday's ROL on Friday Morning. A "Buy American" chain email pushed what was supposed to be posted Monday back to Friday, but "Buy American" didn't get up until Tuesday.  I needed to post at least one Trust 30 (70 days into a 30 day challenge and I have yet to reach 30 posts) which was going to be Wednesday but finally got up on Thursday. Luckily that week ended.

I sat down Saturday morning to do some research on Richard Dent. Dent was enshrined into the Pro Football Hall of Fame Saturday. As a not yet future Hall of Famer, Dent lasted until the 8th round  of the 1983 draft and was Super Bowl MVP at the end of the 1985 season. Why was Dent overlooked in the entry draft? Dent was too light because of bad teeth. The Bears got him a dentist and the Bears got a Hall of Famer. The angle was about withholding judgement. Sometimes all it takes is something minor that will go unseen to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary. The post on Dent never got to draft stage. My cell phone rang on the main level of the house but I was in my lofftice. The area code on the missed call was from North Carolina. I was pretty sure I wasn't going to like the message.

to be continued...

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: Ordinary Isn't.

This Trust 30 prompt is from Patti Digh, based on this quote from Master Emerson:

Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it.

Good, bad, simple, complex, extraordinary, commonplace: These are merely words.  These words can be self-descriptive and at the same time self-limiting. By striving to be the smartest kid in class I ignore day to day consistency.  It is day to day that is superb but greatness which is merely mundane.

Get Your Head Out Of The Locker Room.

Taking a quick peak in the gym locker room and making a comparison: biceps, quads, lats, perhaps something non-musculature.  I know it's a guy thing, perhaps it runs in the other locker room, too. "Wow, does he have a license for that thing? Walking around, showing off. Does anyone care about his new Jag? Still, if I had me one of those..." Such thought is an absolute waste of time. I am gifted with what I have and it's the same for everyone else. Someone will always have stronger, bigger, faster, better. It's up to me to achieve with my list of talents. When size envy or speed doubt start to take hold remember: When one of our 5 senses is weak or non-functioning, the remaining senses grow stronger in order to compensate.

Life Is A Movie. Today, Merely A Snapshot.

It's so easy to consider all the things I have yet to achieve. After all, when my to-do list is completely to-done, I am to-done also. Wanting to gain a new skill after mastering the last task is a good thing. Still, I'm not what I'm striving for, I'm what I am. The list of what I want to accomplish will usually be much longer than the list of what I have completed. Yet, it's what I have already accomplished that is my go-to list for what I want to achieve. Until I run out of tomorrows I may get there yet, today.

I'm Not The First. That's No Big Deal.

In this day and age, it's commonly understood that those we choose for a life partner have a history that precedes the joint relationship. The exception is marrying a blood relative in which case stop reading, we can't find common ground. It's understandable to be slightly uncomfortable with the previous history of a life partner. Still, we move forward based on on our unique perspective and how we will create a new history moving into the future. The same applies to any other project. It's not important that someone else has already completed the project, it's what we bring to the project in it's current iteration that is significant. Don't want to do or write  date something that's already been done or written? That's as ludicrous as not dating someone because they've already been on a date.

Ordinary or Special?

Each morning everyone wakes up, puts feet on the floor and rises to begin a new day. The moment immediately before gaining consciousness, nothing matters. Who I'm not, where I'm not going or what has been completed before me is inconsequential. What is critical is taking my skill set and my history and using it to perfect the tasks in front of me. Everyone faces the same challenge, just another ordinary day. It's that moment, waking with a clean slate that makes the day special. Special isn't ordinary.

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: Me and My Intuition.

I love this Trust 30 prompt from Susan Piver. The challenge is to describe my intuition as we share a meal. What would my intuition say?

Me: "Thanks for joining me."
        MI (My intuition): "Hey, if you're buying I'm there. How did you know this was my favorite place?"
Me: "I had a premonition. Any thoughts on beer, wine or an appetizer?"
        MI: "I'll have a Sam with dinner. No thanks on the appetizers. I'm trying to make better choices."
Me: "It must be working, you look great. You look like a younger, thinner me with a full head of hair. There's something about your eyes. Your eyes are a combination of a bright eyed youth and a wise old owl. What am I to make of that?"
        MI: "Make of it as you wish, after all I'm your intuition.What do you think?"
Me: "Well, I feel good about the future. I've got some irons in the fire. I wish I could progress faster but I do feel like I'm moving ahead each week. I can almost feel success knocking on the door."
        MI: "Don't worry about success. Success can be fickle and has so many definitions. Concentrate on consistency and effort.  You control consistency and effort and boring as the both may be, effort and consistency are the advance team for success."
Me: "So, I'm on the right path?"
        MI: "Are you?"
Me: "Knock it off, you're not my shrink."
        MI: "You're right, I'm not your shrink but I'm not a clairvoyant, either. I'm how you view the future."
Me: "Thanks. I had a feeling you would say that."
         MI: "So maybe you're a clairvoyant?"
Me: "Well played. Can you answer this question? When we got together before you rarely looked this good. At times you looked frail, brittle and old. Occasionally, you sat in front and cowered. I couldn't even get you to a table."
         MI: "When I looked like crap or couldn't even walk in, how were you doing then?"
Me: "For me it was tough accomplishing much. Meeting new people was uncomfortable. I had a lot of headaches, too."
         MI: "No wonder I didn't look good. There wasn't much that looked good to you."
Me: "I get it. You're just a reflection of me."
               Waiter: "May, I take your order?"
         MI: "Give us a few minutes. He didn't expect you yet."
Me: "I don't want to overload dinner with shop talk. Any advice before we order?"
         MI: "Sure. At times, I may be right on and other times I may be very wrong. Either way, you're stuck with me. You have to trust me. I am uniquely you and there isn't much else you have that's only you. Oh and have the chef's special. I'm sure you'll love it."

TO BE CONTINUED. 

MAYBE.

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: Time to Connect.

This Trust 30 prompt is from David Spinks. Simple and straight forward the challenge is to reach out and connect with someone. But not connect with just anyone. Connect with someone I've wanted to connect with but lacked the courage to do so. Not just set the meeting but to reflect on why I want to meet and then set up the meeting.  Maybe the prompt isn't so simple after all.

A challenge for me in this prompt is to think about someone I really want to connect with. I'm comfortable with my circle and rarely feel a burning desire to push beyond these boundaries.  Perhaps that's why my circle is so small. Maybe my small circle is the best reason to pursue this prompt with gusto.

I thought for a bit and realized there was an old friend I should reconnect with.  I have known Racer X (not his real name) for well over 20 years. We've done youth work together and even sat on a charitable board together. He's always been amenable and approachable. The last time I saw X was almost 10 years ago. He had left a downtown law firm to set up a sports related law practice in the suburbs. From everything I can see, X and his practice have been successful.

About a month ago I had a thought about a promotion at a generally ignored annual sporting event in town. In line with my desire to build a service creating and officiating at secular lifecycle celebrations, the promotion is a group wedding for 10 couples. I would solicit local businesses to donate wedding themed prizes, with each couple winning something. One lucky couple would win a full wedding package (hall, food, music, photo, video, portrait, honeymoon). Couples could enter through lottery or contest via local radio station. The promotion has the potential to breathe life into a poorly covered event and create buzz about me.

Since X has connections in sports, I thought X would be the perfect source for help. I'm asking X for ideas on contacts and pitch. Most importantly, X can advise as to whether or not I should even pursue the plan. Why my reluctance to reach out to X? I haven't been in touch while he was building his practice, so now I'm calling because I need something? This isn't about X and the way X treats people. This is all in my head. In my head I see the opening of "The Godfather": "You come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding, but you've never come to me in friendship..."

I contacted X via LinkedIn and we've agreed to meet by phone this afternoon. I'll keep you posted.

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: I'm So Excited.

This Trust 30 prompt is from Mars Dorian. The challenge is about enthusiasm. When doing something exciting, the enthusiasm generated touches everything and everyone involved, creating unstoppable positive energy. All good, right? So how do I crank up that enthusiasm and bring that enthusiasm into everything I do? Engaging every activity with enthusiasm will make me unstoppable and lift up everyone in my circle.

A number of years ago I had committed an error of omission in the course of my day to day duties. I told my employer I would do a make good with the family I served on "my time" to avoid any further cost to the company. My employer became enraged with my offer. "We are a high profile public business and you are indelibly tied to my business. Anything you do in a public venue is MY time." Yes, I should have immediately run from this megalomaniac. I eventually did. Still, my employer's control issues should not cloud the lesson and how that lesson responds to the Mars prompt.

Everything I do is part of a larger whole. Taking my family to the movies, dragging my garbage cans to the curb, parking my car in the mall parking lot. Mundane as these task may be,  these tasks are part of me. If I do not attack each and every task with energy and zeal, I could potentially address all my responsibilities at less than my best. Enthusiasm is not governed by a spigot. Less than my best becomes pervasive. And, there's more.

Like it or not, time is finite. All tasks need to be done. It's best to approach the scut work as though it were a live redo of the 10 Commandments (the actual Commandments with Moses, not the movie with Charlatan Heston). Accomplishing the menial with high energy gets me to the prime function quicker and reduces the possibility of being forced to revisit the dull assignment.

Finally, most great accomplishments are built on a basis of dull repetition. Listen to Elton John, especially his early work. Sir Elton plays a mean piano in many different genre. But even his early rock and roll showcases his classical training. The killer piano you hear today (OK, 30 years ago) was made possible by hours and hours of boring drill on scales. I can't imagine a young Elton John enjoyed playing the same stuff over and over. Until he mastered the basic he couldn't completely create new melodies. The more energy and attention spent mastering the basic, the sooner he could get to the fun. The same goes for me. Back to Mars and the crazy employer.

My employer considered any of my time all of his time. He did not differentiate. Although this is a terrible way to run a business it does contain a great lesson. Just as my employer thought all time was the same (his), all tasks are indeed the same: IMPORTANT. There are no such things as unimportant responsibilities. If something must be done, the fact that the project must be done makes it important. The boring job is either a building block or a gateway to that which is exciting. Either way, the banal requires effervescent execution. The energy spent on the boring also serves as a launching ramp to the excitement necessary to execute that which engages.  Keeping this in mind is a way to bring enthusiasm to everything I do, creating an ever growing cache of positive energy for me and those around me.

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: Everyone is an Expert at Something.

This Trust30 prompt is from Jen Louden. This prompt is an understated warning to beware the expert. The internet provides unlimited access to unlimited information but search engines neither vet the purveyor of said information nor guarantee results should you follow the advice you find.

When looking for help on the internet, it's challenging differentiating good information from invented information. The wiki is now perverted by contributors adding "information" to enhance a specific POV. Google is helping with +1 as is Bing with it's collaboration with Facebook. As for me, I have some additional advice.

Since jumping on Twitter I have gained an even greater disdain for self anointed gurus, ninjas, sherpas, experts, secret agents and freemasons (OK, I made the last one up). For years I have steadfastly avoided eateries that felt a need to place the words "Good Food" on the sign. I'm paying someone else to cook and they need to tell me in advance it's good? Are they afraid I'll have a different opinion? It's the same with self anointed experts: For goodness sake, let me decide on the level of your expertise!

Everyone is a expert at something. In that light, I put up a sight designed to pay homage to the expert in everyone. "Crowdsourcing A Good Life" is a forum to share information on life's burning questions and collectively quench that fire.  Please stop by and add your $2 (indexed for inflation) worth.

How about you? How do you guard yourself from experts that may not be such experts?

ROL: Don't Drown, Drink It Up.

ROL (Return on Life) is a qualitative counterpart of the quantitative marketing analytic, ROI. ROI greatly increases when a little input generates a significantly greater output. Likewise, ROL increases when small life changes produce a greater quality of life. This week's ROL is...well, read on.

I can't believe it's already Thursday afternoon and I'm not set to go with an ROL topic. I have two posts nearly done but can't get what I need in time to make my self-imposed Thursday deadline. I've posted just once since last Thursday. What's going on?

As a starter, the Trust30 prompt for Tuesday was a great idea to help promote my website, "Crowdsourcing A Good Life". Unfortunately, I've been blocked and hadn't posted a new question to the site in over a month. Luckily, Gini Dietrich posted about Spotify. Gini's post planted the seed that lifted the block. The site was updated along with the corresponding Facebook page. A large portion of my social media time allotment was tied up with the site and FB updates but there was more going on, as well.

This past Sunday, my wife rejoined the workforce after a 12 year absence.  Given current conditions and a gigantic hole in my wife's resume (Hole? Spending 12 years concentrating on a household. Birthing and raising two kids, 1 of which is special needs lite and the other which is special needs lighter. This is a hole?), we're thrilled she landed as a 2nd shift CSR at a call center. My wife's new schedule required me to become a primary with the kids. I'm responsible for lunch and dinner and clean up and putting leftovers in a container for wifey's next day dinner. A large portion of computer allocation disappeared with the 1st week of the new schedule. I expect to reclaim this time, but change is turbulent.

My point? I consider building my brand and sharpening my skills in the e-community as part of my day to day responsibilities. When cooking for my kids took my time and energy I could have become angry; the new schedule was stealing my time. A wave of frustration and self pity could have washed over me and gotten the rest of my household wet, too. Instead I relished in literally feeding my family. I chose to enjoy the after dinner time alone with the kids (very challenging during the kids non-medicated hours). Sure, I'm not pleased to have blown a week without promoting me, but frankly that was "money in the pot" anyway. I didn't lose a week of family time along with the unwritten blog posts.

No matter how much we resist, change happens all the time without permission. Those changes will take that which we all hold dear. If we persist in ongoing anger about those already happened changes we lose the joy that new circumstance can bring. Occasionally, changes can be life altering and not in a good way. Too often, meaningless crap consumes us and robs us of the ability to adapt and turn those challenges positive.  

It's a waste to get lost in what has slipped away. 

Find all the good that awaits the next day.

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: Speak Less (or at least softer).

This trust 30 prompt from Laura Kimball is about speaking less in order to do more. The Emerson text she utilizes is about trusting an inner voice no matter what the rest of the world says or thinks. As support, Ms. Kimball uses a cookie fortune "Speak less of your plans, you'll get more done". Emerson and Cookie go well together. Thanks, Laura.

This two pronged idea for producing results is expressed over and over.

• A picture is worth a thousand words. 
• Put up or shut up. 
• Don't tell me, show me. 
• More eloquently stated by Theodore Roosevelt, "Speak softly and carry a big stick".
• Most eloquently written by Master Emerson, "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds".

Simply put, follow your own voice. Screw common wisdom. Ignore the whispers and forge ahead. If you spend your life doing as others suggest, you'll be living someone else's life. I realize this is easier said than done, but there is one sure fire way to set a successful course for your internal compass.

Don't talk about what you are going to do. DO what you are going to do. As Cookie said so very nicely, "you'll get more done". Doing instead of talking doesn't provide fodder for Master Emerson's little minds. Even if those little minds want to give you a piece of their mind (not like they have mind to spare) you'll be too busy doing to engage in conversation. Yes, Virginia, doing instead of talking is the ultimate flip-off.

Needless to say, the prompt reflects back at me. Family and friends consider my dabbling in blogging and other such social media falderal inconsequential. Plus, I talk about needing to spend more time trolling for readers for this blog. So less talking, more marketing and shove the results in the face of naysayers.

ROL, Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: Systematically Facing Fear.

ROL (Return on Life) is a weekly post. ROL is the life style enhancing metric similar to the business measurement ROI (Return on Investment). Just as ROI increases with incremental additional investment generating large gains, ROL is about small life change strategies that can provide significant increases in quality of life. Today's ROL is inspired by a Trust 30 prompt.

This Trust 30 prompt is from Dan Andrews.  I love this prompt because it addresses the need of creatives to eschew logic and create. The prompt then provides a systematic approach for addressing any fear based on not following conventional and systematic thought.  This prompt synergizes left and right brain function using logic to defeat the enemy of the creative. What is the enemy of the creative? Logic.

Other prompt generated posts have pointed out that rational thinking is the enemy of creative energy. Considering the cost of failure obscures the benefits of success. Since the proper sequence remains ready,aim, fire, it's understandable that many great ideas don't get started because of the fear of failure. Luckily, not everyone is bound by this thinking. Richard Nixon's political career was thought to be dead when he lost the California governor's race in 1962, yet a mere 6 years later he became president. Okay, maybe that's a bad example but you get the point. There is tremendous value in forgoing conventional wisdom and achieving something no one thought possible.

It's great being a blind optimist, so long as you don't mind being blind. It's better to grant those fears reality and address those fears one by one.

1. What are the costs of inaction? Consider this: Starting a sentence "If I had only ..."is so sad. "I did this but it didn't work out as I had hoped" trumps "If I had only..." every single time.
2. What kind of person do I want to be? Look to your personal heroes. They are your heroes for a reason. I'll bet they're not your heroes for their ability to sit idly by and watch the world happen.
3. In the event of failure, could I generate an alternative positive outcome? As long as failure doesn't kill you, there should always be an alternative positive outcome. At the very least you learn what seemed like a great idea, lacked. Use knowledge gained in failure to succeed next time. Today's success's are often built on the foundation of yesterday's failures. On the other hand, if there is a high (or even slim chance) that the activity could kill you, perhaps additional consideration about charging ahead is warranted.

Ignoring fear isn't always the answer. Facing fear and defeating fear point by point allows you to properly separate the factual from the irrational. So go ahead, embrace fear. Break it down, then break it in half. Then go out and show the world what you can do.

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: These Dreams.

This prompt from Michael Rad is about dreams. Specifically, to identify my top 3 dreams, write down my top 3 dreams and then write down the things that are holding me back from accomplishing these dreams. This is a companion to yesterday's post, Invent The Future.

I am not a big dreamer. If my 3 top dreams were a movie, the movie would go straight to the Netflix "Instant" directory. My dreams are about my family; Spending time (arguing) with my wife and (yelling at) my kids. I also want to give as much support to my kids as I can to ease their transition into adulthood. Implicit in these dreams are a level of income and an amount of recreational time. The level of income and time are heretofore unquantified. I'll know when I have enough of both.

I have no dreams of travel. If the Rockford Clocktower is the last world landmark I ever see, that's fine. I have no dreams of publishing, speaking or being adored by multitudes. I'm not against writing, presenting or adoration but these are only means to an end; time with my wife and kids and being an asset to my kids. Therefore, everything I stated yesterday belongs here also. So what's stopping me from accelerating my future success?

Only one thing is stopping me from reaching my goals: Me. That's it, I'm the problem. I have to build my network and present my brand. If I'm not networking face to face or on the net, I'm doing nothing. I have to press the flesh and press the send key as often as possible and then, more than as often as possible. A caveat is that my brand must choose quality over carp and content over quantity.  In the end, I may not be the only encumbrance to reaching my dreams. Until I jump the hurdle of me, nothing else is in the way.

What about you? What's stopping you from achieving your dreams? Oh and by the way, if you don't write it down, it doesn't exist. Take some time and share your thoughts.

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: Invent the Future.

This prompt from Cindy Gallop is about setting long term goals.  Rather than a "to do list", the challenge is to paint the picture of my future. Once I see the future, I can go about the mundane task of filling in the details.

In the future, I see myself in a nice house with a white picket fence in the suburbs. I will have three nearly perfect children, Amanda, Xavier and Fred.  Wait, that's someone else's future. I gotta get a new crystal ball.

My future includes serving as a creator/facilitator of life cycle celebrations for the secular community.  I plan on speaking to secular humanist and atheist gatherings about the importance of ceremonial celebrations and explain the dynamics of creating life cycle events based on music, literature, science and history. My business will have been built via face to face networking and social media. I also will offer consulting to small businesses on building a business via social  media.  If I have time available, I have a very specific website in mind that I would love to develop.

That is a very aggressive future. It's time to start writing down the mundane details.

What about you? How do you see your future? Without a vision for your future you will merely travel life's path as a bystander and wind up living someone else's future. How can you start living your future today?

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust Challenge: One Moment in Time.

This Trust 30 prompt is from Bridget Pilloud. I am to recall (or imagine and describe) a point when I knew that I wasn't following anyone but creating my own path. A time when I felt wholly strange, new and most alive.

As my anniversary week nears conclusion, this prompt recalls my wedding day. I began the path described above as I walked to the chupah to wait for my bride.

If you were among the 100+ guests at my wedding, you would have noticed my mother's absence. My Dad died when I was 7, so from that point until I met my wife it was Mom and me. Whether she didn't approve of my wife or just couldn't let go, my mother didn't attend my wedding.

The decision to walk the aisle alone was my decision. I didn't have a surrogate parent and to just have someone fill a space... I was no less on my own.

My in-laws preceded me in the procession to the chupah, stopping halfway down the aisle, turning 90 degrees   and facing each other as though guarding that point in the aisle. As I walked through my in-laws, my nearly mother-in-law took my hand in support.  My in-laws weren't guards. At that my moment my in-laws were serving as greeters, welcoming into their family. I continued my path to the chupah.  My in-laws waited for my bride, to accompany her on the last steps to becoming my wife.

I walked the aisle alone to the beginning of a new life. I was married and my priorities and responsibilities reordered with the marriage. As I walked to the chupah my emotions were 95% unrestrained joy and 5% "Where's the safety net?". The life altering decision to marry rearranged my family dynamics. This path was mine. The future was up to me.

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge: Ambition is Good, Blind Ambition isn't Good.

This Trust 30 prompt is from Jonathan Fields. This prompt is about the hidden trap of realized goals. No one is clairvoyant. A goal reached can be significantly different than the goal imagined.To avoid this trap, one must always be open to alternative opportunities presented on the path to reaching the goal. Sometimes the outcome desired will be reached via an altered set of goals. It's impossible to find this altered goals with blind dedication to a primary plan. So...

This is one area in which my eyes are wide open. My path to lifecycle ceremony creator and facilitator for the secular actually begin as the goal of directing funerals for underserved communities in my city. Providing lifecycle ceremonies for an underserved community is a wider and more creative variation of the funeral director plan.

• I have already identified ancillary opportunities of the ceremony creator. One is to simply offer marriage ceremonies on a short time frame.  Are you moved to get married right now? In Illinois there is a mandatory 24 hour wait from permit to ceremony. Why go to city hall 2 days in a row. Get the permit and call me. We can meet at your residence, gym, office, favorite restaurant at a selected time. The couple has a more meaningful wedding. I get the opportunity to market myself and get paid.
• Another variation of ceremony creator is to team with local hotels and prepare memorial service (no casket) options. The hotel knows it's convention schedule 2-3 weeks in advance.  If the hotel is at less than capacity the opportunity to provide catering, rooms and services for a memorial service helps the hotel add revenue. For the family, the hotel has some of the items families may not have at home: projectors, sound system, large capacity, support staff, ample parking, etc. The opportunity to have the meal and service at the same location is a win-win for the family and hotel.

I am sure other opportunities will occur as I start and build my service business. I am also confident I will be open to evaluating those ideas and pursuing those ideas when the match is good. Thanks, Jonathan.

Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust Challenge: Surprise Yourself.

This straightforward prompt from the Trust 30 challenge is by Ashley Ambridge. I am charged to recall a time when I did something I didn't believe I was capable of doing but surprised myself. That was then.  What about this week?

Since this is Wedding Anniversary week at home, I recall courting my wife for our first date. This was in ancient times when folks still had voicemail on their pagers. (Pager? What's a pager? There's voicemail on those big coaster size things at the restaurant?) We had just set our first date. I composed a poem and read the poem into her voicemail. As a single person lacking 2nd dates, reading a poem into voicemail prior to a 1st date was out of character for me. Further, those ancient pager-voicemail thingees had a time limit on messages. I got timed out as I started the final stanza and had to call back to complete my poetry slam offering. Obviously, everything worked out well as evidenced by my introductory sentence including "Wedding Anniversary week".

How can I use this to surprise myself this week? Well, if it's planned, it's not really a surprise. But, if it's not planned how can it be executed? So it's now a challenge. I will challenge myself to find 3 new venues to troll for blog traffic, using my personality (my poetry is reserved for my wife) to announce I'm a player.

How will you use past self-surprises to challenge yourself to push your limits?

Emerson Trust 30 Challenge Prompt 11: Divine Idea.

The Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 Challenge Prompt 11 is from Fabian Kruse.  The idea is to find areas in which I imitate others and instead to be me, new, unique. There are 30 prompts/days to this challenge. Not every challenge is going to ring like a bell. This is one that doesn't really resonate so my post may be less than it could be, none the less...

I have always had the tendency to watch others and judge their actions. "Joe, did this. How stupid can he be?" "Can you believe Jane is back together with her ex, again? Wouldn't she be better off banging her head with a hammer?"  Since I usually find willing conversation partners (often large groups of them) I know I didn't begin this trend.  Maybe it's time to end the trend of talking about and judging others.

I find I gain nothing from judging others. At best, it's like diet soda. It may do nothing bad, it certainly does nothing good for me and rarely quenches my thirst.  It's time to be more like water. Clear, transparent and seeking my own level.  Life sustaining and thirst quenching.  Time to stop judging and instead find my own path.

What about you? What do you think of  my divine idea?