Monday, October 24, 2011

What You Say?

The whole family was in the car on the way to somewhere when my son, Mario concluded a sentence with "a word I'm not supposed to say." I replied "Well, not only don't say that word, but don't make reference to the word" (I don't remember the context, nor the intended word). I added further, "When I was your age, one of my sports heroes was Randy Hundley, because he didn't swear. Lovie Smith, the Bears coach also doesn't swear." For the sake of full disclosure I didn't include myself as a non-curser.

I don't live my life with blinders on. I expect that Mario's vocabulary is already beyond PG. I harp on the cursing because Mario is an Aspie. Mario doesn't quite understand that you shouldn't curse with your teachers or parents (due to Asperger's) though you might curse while hangin' your circle of 7th grade friends (which doesn't exist due to Asperger's). My method seems to be working. I rarely catch Mario cursing.
I'm hoping to help Mario build on the don't swear (often) meme. The whole concept of not cursing breaks down to 2 significant points:
  • Don't do, wear or say something just because everyone else is doing, wearing or saying something. If everyone else is doing, wearing or saying something, it is no longer a statement of individuality.
  • Think before your speak. Start with reviewing content before hitting send (that's simple enough, right?) and build to thinking before speaking. When involved in an emotion fueled conversation, slow down speaking to allow thought and reason time to be involved. The proper sequence is ready, aim, fire when using a weapon. Words can injure (or ruin reputations) just the same as bullets.
How about you? How do you feel about cursing in speech, print, public? What guidelines would you share with your children (or children of the world) to highlight individuality and safeguard reputation?


  1. We're generally anti-cursing and we lead by example. I'm not sure my 10 year old has ever heard me curse. In my opinion, it just shows a lack of respect and a lack of vocabulary. Very rarely do I respect someone more or listen closer to someone cursing. Sadly, it's becoming harder and harder to watch tv with this kind of standard, but it gives us a great opportunity to have great conversations with our kids and have teachable moments about choices.

    Thanks for the great blog and great topic.

  2. I agree with the whole bit on TV. I'm watching TV to escape and I don't find cursing an enhancement to the experience. Although I'm not particularly careful with language, I don't curse with the kids or in public. The kids will learn the words, but they don't need to learn them from me. As for the public, I can't speak to the sensitivities of those within ear shot. Once the word is out, no one can avoid it and I don't want to inflict my view of language on others. Dad, thanks for stopping by. Looking forward to hearing from you again.